Future Fashion

Back in 1965, right after corporations first commodified
The poor man’s San Fran gold mining 49er blue denim Levi’s
Then whacked a $40 price tag on the trucker cap
then put a patent on the lumberjack
shirt, well the Milan catwalk crowd – with their ears to the ground –
put hi-vis vests on supermodels’ outthrust chests
Then the Aotearo’ Bro was in vogue and those in the know
Were spotted at the Oscars wearing $9.99 thick black 3-pack PakNSave nylon socks with a yellow strip
and pull-up gumboots with steel tips
Suddenly the streets were neon yellow and orange chic
wraparound sunnies and accessories like earmuffs, and Stop/Go signs available at Hallensteins were a sign of the times
The middle class cannibalised the fashion of the trash ‘n
said Kathmandu jackets were to be worn inside, they pushed their skinny jeans and bushy beards aside and
tripled the price of sticky dreadlocks, topknots and a Swanndri
made Moerewa polyprop camouflage duck hunting gear ten times as dear,
The fashion machine took the average man’s black Saturday track pants and Calvin Klein refined it
Everyone put on Ralph Lauren builder’s toolbelts, coveted courier drivers’ budgie smugglers, they put mince and cheese pie stains on work shirts sayin Mainfreight. Increased the price outta sight.
Paint-spattered white overalls were all the rage one spring in 2019
Then grey cotton prison jerseys were endorsed by Armani and trendsetters stole ta moko and tatau and put Mangu Kaha tats on hipsters’ throats
Then you were impressive if you dressed in a Warehouse red top, black pants, socks mismatched
then Subway wage slave shirts sold out,
and – this was the year 2025 – you became highly stylised
if you were identifying with the 15 dollar an hour life
By sticking a Burger King namebadge on your breast
The list went on, redone by Donna Karan, the trendsetters stole all lower class clothes
Stuck them in Red Rat and Glassons and Jay Jays windows
Still the fashionistas didn’t slow their roll
The upper echelons fed upon the dwellers at the bottom not just in fashion but in every aspect
Said it was cool to have fifty grand student loan debt,
Ponsonby peeps were the height of style if they couldn’t afford an Auckland mortgage,
You were beyond hipster if your Lexus was a rattling Raumanga bus
And they turned Paris, New York, London, Dunedin and Wellington
Into A&E waiting rooms, where tomorrow’s styles could be viewed, the tramp stamps, the polar fleece pants, the skater shoes,
Eventually it was edgy for the cognoscenti to pretend to be on a WINZ sickness benny, ironically dejected and depressed, it became outré to visit a Salvation Army foodbank when dole day was a Save My Bacon Little Loan away
Soon North Shore kids were faux-slitting their wrists with two inches of lipstick, wishing it was Weymouth where they lived, wannabes wanting empty lunchbox poverty.